Overseas Life Good-bye Blessings.

 Living overseas I'm sure molded my life in more ways than I can comprehend, however some I recognize. 

My medical experiences and living overseas away from family shaped a couple intentional practices in my life. 

I've witnessed countless times how suddenly, unexpectedly life can change due to an accident or sudden medical crisis.

None of us know what the next minutes, days, weeks may hold.

Living hours of travel and a few airplane rides from most of our family make it even more possible that each good-bye could be the last in this life.

So one practice we do as a family is good-bye blessings. 

Before we part for a while we pray over our kids and often my folks also participate. 

We pray around the room over each one.

This precious time I pray my children will remember, and I wish my grandparents had blessed me in this way. 

While I know they prayed for me I don't remember specific times of prayer.

I remember on LaGonave when I would introduce a different or new way of doing something in the hospital that I would tell myself that if one of 10 ideas made a lasting difference I was doing OK. 

Change is hard.

Until someone does what you advised on their own,  you really can't know if they really agree with you or if they changed because you are their boss, parent, just to please you, or some other reason...

Therefore my heart was warmed greatly to hear that at the end of Anna's Christmas visit with my folks, while Eli visited us in Zambia, she requested the good-bye blessing prayer. She gets it!!!

The night before she headed off to Rwanda we gathered in my folk's living room for a pray-around over her, as well as Eli and Fritz.

Special, blessed, holy moments.

Occasionally these are not good-bye blessings but transition blessing prayers at significant points in life like graduations, job changes, end/start of school year... pivotal points in life. 

A second practice that I've been intentional about, the last few years, is sitting down and writing a letter to my parents, Cory, and the kids. 

I point out the things I see in them, what I appreciate, review key memories, lessons I've learned from each, my prayers for them, and a bit of advice here and there. 

I want to gift tangible evidence of my love for them. 

If I am suddenly called to my heavenly home without a chance for one last prayer, hug or 'I love you to the outer edge of the universe and back...' they will know how I feel about them.

Or     if the Lord calls one of them, I'll know I tried to share a bit of how blessed I am by the great gift  the Lord bestowed upon my life by adding them to my tribe.

So if you want to cause blessing ripples to those in your life: pray good-bye or pivotal-point blessing prayers.

In person, over the phone, video call, text...reach out and bless. You'll also be blessed. 

Write a letter of affirmation. Mail it. Leave it in a suitcase or on a pillow. Or read it to the person before handing it over! 

Time may be short.

“The LORD bless you and keep you; the LORD make His face shine on you and be gracious to you.” 

Packing during uncertain times.

 Packing up for a short trip. One night going and one night on the return spent at Ortlip, the mission complex by the seaside where the boat will pick us up to travel to LaGonave for a couple days of team meetings. Should be easy. We lived there 9 years, we know what to expect even through it’s been years since Cory last visited and 4.5 for me. This will be Fritzlin’s first trip.

There are the normal things to think about, coolers for when we shop for food on the way home. It’s been over two months since we returned to our mountain home and Cory has not traveled down for supplies. Any items or books that we want to share or donate to others who may have greater need or will be blessed by items we’ve acquired from guests or other missionaries over the years that we no longer need or think we need. With no younger child a few boxes contain children’s books to be shared with a children’s home on LaGonave and missionary women planning to attend a retreat at Ortlip next month. 

Wild local crocus

Swimsuits, sunscreen, bug spray and light-weight clothes that have sat in storage for months or years waiting for a trip like this are found and packed. The needed bathroom items, reading material, fun things to occupy Fritzlin during the meetings should he not find ways to entertain himself. 

But there is another layer of items to be packed. The ‘what if’ category. The one that past experience, memories, current conditions, frightening possibilities, and strategic thinking all mix together into a loud whisper and prompting that cannot ….will not be ignored. 

The items that will be carried because of the haunting, slim possibility that during the 4 day trip the simmering anger and daily protests occurring in Port-au-Prince could continue to spread and grow until they explode and trigger an evacuation of our team. The symptoms stirred up by old tensions that precipitated rapid planning and packing when we were told to go in 2004 and 2019 will not allow the ‘what if’ whispers to be silenced. 

The apprehensive mental strain demands packing ‘in case’ our return would be delayed.  The packing consists of a few pounds of school books, journals, official paperwork,  personal Bibles and warm clothes, needed for hours in cold airports [and for the first hour or so down the mountain since we’ll have them].

The nagging uncertainty pushes us to prepare the house for being gone far longer than 4 nights: buckets under areas that leak, plastic covering over the guest bed and couch, the refrigerator divided into-' please eat' section and 'just leave be' categories. Knowing that the guys would still have to do some tasks like moving out the plants and orchids in the windows should our return be delayed. 

Acknowledging the possibility that trouble could prevent any travel or if the road is blocked that we may need to turn around and head back home before spending even one night away. The painful debris of past plans that never reached maturity due to ’trouble’ swirl around bumping into hope here and there and preventing all but the strongest hopes from growing and flourishing. 

Once our objective is reached, the travel plans behind us turned into experience and history then and only then can one let the excitement build and be celebrated. 

The lifetime of training kicks in...that when you depart for a trip you need to clean, wash-put away dishes, wipe out the sink, make sure things are put in their proper place just in case someone should have to enter your home before you return kicks in and causes last minute inspections, review of list, and cleaning. Thankfully this busy work can help occupy the mind, pushing back the wondering, pondering what the days to come will hold.

Details big and small..have we thought of the important ones?  The ones that would have the biggest impact if not dealt with in a timely fashion, or would be hard to explain in sufficient detail to be carried out the way we would want? 

The night before will see a pad of paper and pen alongside my bed incase the mind remembers something important in the dark watches of the night and manages to wake me enough to take note of it. 

 In the end, we will do our best and leave the rest in the Lord’s very capable hands. Thankfully He not only authors the adventures we experience in this life but He goes along with us, each step of the way.

Perspective

 I know that many people have a word for each year. 

I've rarely been able to narrow it down to a word but end up writing a few on the cover of our family planner. 

Started out with Isaiah 42:1 'Fear not, for I have redeemed you, I have called you by name, you are Mine'; Intentional Phil 2:13; 'Love fiercely, Listen carefully, Live courageously'

Chaotic 2020, two words more have come to the forefront truth and trust.

What is the truth about covid? 

What is the truth about the political candidates running for office? 

What really happened during protests, an encounter with a police officer, or any news story?

Being human means we all have unique perspectives and can only see things from our point of view. 

Try as hard as you can and even with the Lord's help you'll never be able to fully see things from someone else's perspective.

Yes, we should try. Yes, it is hard. 

Yes, we should try to see the truth in our own lives. 

Yes, we need to pray for the Lord's wisdom to help us see the blind spots.

Once we believe we know what is true we need to use it carefully. 

Truth can be used to hurt or to heal. 

Let us use it carefully, thoughtfully, intentionally to nudge people in our lives to look to God, and His perfect Love.

The pictures I posted were taken seconds apart, just pivoting my position a bit. All are true. All real. But none of them standing alone showed the whole truth.

So many of us believe lies, partial truths or truth twisted and distorted by trauma and sin in our lives. 

So much of what we hear around us daily or in our own heads is not the whole truth. 

Lord, help us not to pick and choose the parts of the truth that only support our position and view point. 

Lord, help us to start by looking deep into ourselves, with Your help to deal with the problem areas in our lives before judging others.

Lord, help us to see ourselves as You see us, through the eyes of unconditional love.

Lord, stir up Your people to pray for this hurting world.

Lord, help us to keep our eyes fixed on You, our hope in this world of pain and suffering.

Lord, help us to remind people that there is more than this life, a life without pain or tears.

If we don't believe what the Bible says about God is the truth then how can we trust Him?

If we believe that what God said is true how can we NOT trust Him?

Haiti Anniversary Reflection

 22 years ago my focus, once we arrived to our apartment on LaGonave, was to unpack and organize our new home. Cory’s mom traveled with us and helped with Eli who had just celebrated his first birthday the week before. 

A dream that first began for me as an eight year old living on LaGonave and watching the work at the hospital finally returned me to the starting place. 

I’d spent 22 years of my life up to that point learning in classrooms and 3 years working/learning in residency. The last 22 years I’ve continued to learn and grow in this classroom of my Dearest Haiti. My teachers include many people, events and situations that I never dreamed of when we moved.

Big and small, hard and harder, the Lord changed me, molded me, chipped away hard unwanted parts, burnt away some of the garbage, replaced some of the holes with healing, softened trauma scars with time. Thankful that He continues to work on me through His love, His plan. 

Through it all He remains faithful, holding me with love scared hands while I cry, laugh, moan, praise, or beg. While confusion and questions may swirl around me like a hurricane He understands. He knows. He sees me. 

We moved from the little apartment about 6 months later across the yard. After 9 years of island life we followed the Lord’s direction to the rainforest-like climate of Fauche in the north, and then 10 years later up into the mountain air of Délice.

Roughly new land boundaries

 Through hurricanes, a major earthquake, 2 evacuations for political instability, years of adoption paperwork, lots of Global Partners changes, writing/putting together a couple books in Creole, building a house on a mountain ridge,  all the the ups-downs-ins-outs of precious relationships with broken people, all the unexpected twists and turns of life… He is still leading. 

Anna and Fritzlin both joined the family; Eli and Anna transitioned to college life at Calvin; many family and support team members left this life for their heavenly home. 20 years of residential visas. 3 GP logo changes. 3 director changes. Too many teammates and partners to list, including 29 current churches. Thousands upon thousands of prayers for us and by us. 

Back at the beginning I started writing major events on a large index card for every year and reviewing them shows how far we’ve come and highlights many changes. 

This year’s card clearly shows a difference-NO Visitors. NO in-person connection with anyone from GP  since the end of June 2019 due to restricted travel and canceled meetings.

 Fritz and I have remained on the mountain for the last eight months, that does not mean I'm the same person. 

Our marriage started off on a solid base of God’s love and faith in Him but was thrust within days into the challenges of surviving medical residency.  Eli joined the family during my last  year. 

I moved to Haiti as a wounded person with a tendency to lash out and hurt others when overwhelmed, spread to thin, lacking margin and filter [sadly most of my life during those years and too many times since] 

I apologize to those who were caught by my bad attitudes and sharp tongueand i hurt. 

Thank you to those who prayed and called me on bad behavior and words-a true friend really does sharpen others and because of you and the Lord, I’m a better person today. 

Please continue to do so.

With HIs continued grace, mercy, faithfulness, and LOVE I will continue to change and grow into the person He created me to be.

Day 77. 11 Weeks and counting...

Thankfully good rains continued this week.

The daily sunshine added to the moisture equates to rapid growth of trees, veggies and unfortunately weeds.

By working a few mornings a week weeding while Fritz sits nearby doing schoolwork I'm keeping up with the original and kitchen terraces.

Will see next week when the pond terraces need weeding if I can continue the pace.

The guys and Cory continued to work on the terraces, add rock walls, move dirt, and plant.

As we start week 12 of Covid restrictions [with at least 6.5 to go unless something changes], Haiti's case numbers are rapidly increasing.

Our travel plans to head to the USA for our Global Partner's area retreat in July and then on to see Eli, Anna and family no longer exist.


A therapeutic activity for me includes organizing and getting rid of things.

This week I felt the need for something different than just school and weeding and realized a neglected small room could provide an outlet.

Destined in time to be a guest bathroom, this room contained a pile of tools, tile, and stuff.

Never has it been swept, cleaned or organized. Once the interior non-shower walls were painted the room became a catch-all.

A second stroke of genius occurred when I realized that the shelving and milk crates full of tools next to the kitchen ship-lap wall could be moved.

With Cory's help by the end of Monday night the tools were either in the small bath or the storage room.

The cleared, uncluttered wall makes me smile, as does the knowledge of how much easier it will be to clean!

It reminds me how the Lord can turn chaos into order. He can provide peace in the middle of uncertainty. Calm in the midst of turmoil.

The unknowns of COVID-19 in Haiti remain.

The mixture of sorrow, anger, frustration and more...that comes from reading about the racial and political tensions in the USA- remain.

The helplessness in the face of so many hungry, suffering people in Haiti and the world-remains.

Our faith in God-remains.

Our praise, giving Him the glory, honor, gratefulness that  He deserves-remains.

Our hope- remains in Him.

Our prayers rise to Him.

Remain firm in Him. Courage!

Reflecting on evacuation.

Almost two weeks ago we left Haiti for the third time due to political instability. The first two times [Feb. of 2004 and Feb. 2019]  Global Partners made the call and told us to leave.

In many ways that was easier than this one when we were allowed to decided when to leave because people understand listening to one's 'boss'. But leaving under any conditions is hard.

Pray for folks you know in Haiti, pray for those you know who left Haiti. Pray for wisdom and peace; provision and protection. Support them in their decision, listen well, be a safe place for them to talk about all those mixed emotions, love on them.

Realize that 'welcome home' may not be the best greeting if their hearts are breaking for their Haiti home [or any other troubled place in the world that someone had to leave].

The questions that flood ones mind do not stop after one decides to leave or stay....

It is very hard not to compare one's self to others or second guess.  I switch back and forth from reading up on the news/friends social media posts to avoiding all news.

While I want to know what is happening so I can pray and be informed, one image or the wording of a sentence can overload my brain and emotions, sending me scurrying for my bed, some kind of distracting entertainment, or thankfully often-my Bible.

For that is the answer..His word. We pray for His direction and often wish it was 100% clear. For no matter what the others in your world are telling you: Go! Stay! Wait! One needs to seek the Lord's direction and will for your life.

Only the Lord knows you 100% and His plan for you. Some leave or stay out of fear, dedication, pride, indecision, stubbornness...and thousands of other mixed reasons.

And today's plan as you understand it may not be tomorrows. This is true for each of us, not just us dealing with unstable, unsafe international living situations.

We should not 'lean on our own understanding' but 'Trust in the Lord'.  To stay if He's telling you to go is wrong. To go if He's telling you to stay is wrong. How does one really know? This is hard, very hard.

For some whom  He has told to leave Haiti, it is harder than staying. But we need to trust Him. Trust that He has a reason for us to be where He sends us. To interact with those He puts in our lives..or just to have time alone with Him. To trust Him in all the unknowns [when can we go back home, what do we do here, where...what...when...how...who...]

For other's to stay is harder...to face daily the suffering of others and all the unknowns. [what do we do here, where...what...when...how...who...]

Each of us needs to trust the Lord. To focus on submitting to His will and draw closer to Him.

Hard not to compare or judge others..for even those closest to us may not know the triggers or why's in our lives. I'm reminded of John 21:22 when Jesus said to Peter about John " “If I want him to remain alive until I return, what is that to you? As for you, follow me.”

Sometimes the Lord allows us to know reasons why we needed to be in that place at that time..but other times He just wants us to follow Him and Trust HIM.

We need to be extra careful in times of turmoil, transition, and unknowns to focus on the Lord's word and promises because it is very easy to let doubt, negative thinking, and lies to slip into our thinking.

I've read the debates about the saying 'the safest place in the world is in the center of the Lord's will for your life'. And I do believe it, knowing that we're not promised 'safety' or that it will be easy.

To live outside His plan and will for my life is a place I don't ever want to be.

Lord, help me to know what you have for me to do today. May my eyes remain fixed on You. May Your Love fill me so that my attitude remains correct in all situations, especially when I don't understand.

When the unknowns swirl around like snowflakes in a blizzard and plans can change faster than a blink of an eye may I trust You.

Bring other's to mind so that I can pray for them. I pray that each person in Haiti will recognize God, hear His voice, know His Truth, feel His love. That revival will sweep from coast to coast and beyond. To testify how His peace, hope and Love transforms lives.

Oh, our dear Haiti

The balancing act of life continues to get harder as Haiti’s instability increases. On one side the daily tasks of life continue to need attention. The second side consists of the ‘what if’ tasks and questions. 

Worry not..He clothes even the flowers

Life on the mountainside appears peaceful but everyone knows that in the rest of the country roads are blocked; cities and businesses are paralyzed; police being attacked; looting and violence spring up where frustrations, anger and despair mix;  hospitals are running out of fuel and the doors could be closed even if patients can travel around or talk their way through the multiple road blocks. 

While doing daily tasks, one’s mind is constantly being pulled in the many directions of unknowns and ‘what if’s’, some personal and a multitude for our friends. “Should Cory be on the ladder?  Because if he should fall and hurt himself it could be very difficult to get him to a working hospital. Did the hospital and mission compound on LaGonave find fuel? How long will it be before Cory can go to a bank or a grocery store?” 

“I wonder how is [insert name of church leader, friend, missionary, or organization] doing?   Are they safe? How long will the phones and internet continue to work? The airport  must still be open as a jet just flew over.  Wonder if anyone we know is leaving due to the unrest? How long will the people put up with not being able to go to market or work?” 

“ What should we be doing incase we need to leave again? What can we do now to prepare for that possibility? What trees can and should be planted now? How can the house be readied? Probably good to eat older food first so that newer remains for sharing with friends or can wait here for our return. 

For now we are not planning to leave. We are in a very safe location and have supplies. The plan is even if the other Global Partners missionaries return to the USA, that we would ‘shelter in place’. 

However that was the plan in February and then things changed and we had two days for packing/ preparing to leave Haiti. So we feel it wise to take this time to prepare for either going or staying. 

With every unanswerable question there is only one healthy response- take it to the Lord. Follow each question with a prayer. God size problems need the One True Savior. 

Small bits of hope occur in the morning when the local radio station is still on the air; during the day when jets fly over; or at night when the lights of major cities still shine along the coast.   But our real hope rests wholly on the Lord, as do the hopes of the Haitian Christians.

Saturday Pastor LeGrand, his son [a trained agriculturist] and a man from their church came up for a visit. After touring the garden, learning about plants, getting trees to plant from the nursery, tasting some avocado smoothy, a strawberry and mulberries they prepared to leave. We prayed together for the country and they blessed our house and family.  

Our biggest encouragement comes from hearing him and Haitian pastors on the radio praising the Lord, confessing sins, and asking Him to intervene, purify and save this country. We know as well that many around the world are praying for our family and the Haitian people. May the Lord use this crises to advance His Kingdom, to draw people into closer relationship with Himself. He is Able. 

Not normal = weary

Life feels .... unsettled I guess. Not great, not bad, not really stressful....just not normal.

Now normal can be hard to describe as every day in Haiti can look different and comes with unpredictablity. But I almost feel like I've stepped into someone else's life.

This week I've: gone with Anna and Frizlin to a funeral for one of Cory's aunts; driven Anna to driver's education; gone grocery shopping; gone to the library; put gas in the car; cooked rhubarb; filled in several more pieces of the puzzle called "Thede's summer schedule"; took one child for a health appointment; made eye and dental appointments; attended a women's Bible study; texted with Eli; visited in person with an aunt and niece; started planning for Anna and Fritzlin's party in July; watched TV;  and used up LOTS of the unlimited band-width available to me!

None of these's things do I 'normally' do.

I did a few 'normal' things too like: cleaning, dishes, cooking, laundry, home-school, reading, communication by email/Facebook.

Transitional make me tired. Working on the house build made me physically tired. But I'm tired. A strange type of tired...not physical, not due to lack of sleep, not because of stress...but tired.

Maybe weary is a better word. Yes, weary--one of the definitions of which is 'calling for a great deal of energy or endurance".


The weary transition time can only be experienced well, with the Lord's help.

So I hope you're praying for me and our family.

Fritzlin continues to do well. Anna's enjoying driver's training and drove twice already. Eli's learning a lot during his training for camp. Cory will be heading to the airport tomorrow morning and should be in Michigan by noon on Saturday.



Sunday Sharing Locations:

June 10th      Woodside Wesleyan   Lake Ann  MI   11 A.M.
June 17th       Warsaw Wesleyan     Warsaw IN         am service   Pastor will pray for us. Table.

Transplanting...

House just visible on the ridge..about 1/3 from left side.

After ten days back in our old comfort zone working with a medical team and visiting Fauche, we returned last Wednesday to Délice.

Each trip moves a bit more of our belongs to the mountain.

And with two days of packing up the old house at Fauche very few of our household items remain in their place, except those that will be remaining in the north.

Road on right. Just see the house, coffee plantation and fort ruins just to the left of the tree. 

As the memories swirled around along with dust as we packed, I continued to feel and acknowledge the mixed feelings that come with a major transition.

I'm thankful for a support team that continues to pray for us during this time and know that without each of you the stress would be much higher and the process more difficult.

Our children learned the 'R.A.F.T.' principle at a young age. Reconciliation, Affirmation, Farewell, + Thinking ahead.

During last 7 months our normal ministry focuses of agriculture and medical education rarely received our time or energy. Building a house remains draining but we try to remember that this is a season.

A necessary season: we recognize that we need a strong, safe, restful place from which to serve the people of Délice, develop the station/farm, and receive visitors / friends.

Small moments of ministry-connecting occured with the crews working on the house; interacting with the TWC staff and Agape house kids. But mostly we work to build the base and think ahead of the day when we can start in earnest to interact with the surrounding communities and start planting the land.

Many of Cory's trees and plants need a time of rest after transplanting. You do not see much or any growth. The tree sits apparently idle for months at a time without growth.

Then suddenly when the conditions are right, the tree starts to grow new branches and leaves. In time the flowers and fruit appear making all the waiting worth it.

So please pray for us while we put down our roots.

We hope to start on the inner house walls next week.

Delays are common in Haiti so we try to hold any predictions loosely but in the next 1-2 months we hope to move into the house.

Pray for the Lord to continue to use us and to be preparing the way for effective ministry in the future.

House name...

Nine years ago today, I blogged about my mom painting names on some of the buildings at Fauche. Full blog here.

Over our house door she painted 'Lakay Elim'. "Lakay Elim" means house of trees and is named after an oasis that Moses stopped at with the children of Israel.

Since we knew we were moving I've been thinking about what this house or station should be named. 

LaGonave and Fauche stations reflect the name of the town/village where they are located. 

The Ortlip Center was named after a missionary family who served many years. 

I pondered many ideas while painting and working on the house. I've prayed about it during the weeks and months of developement.

A name reflecting descriptions: mountains, rocks, views, ridges - verses minstry type names....? Something that points to the Lord or to what our goals on earth should be?An acronim? Something short or long? Something that could be used with a new mailing address or separate?

I thought about a poll or contest but many of you have not seen the location or been here to visit.

It came to me during the team from Canada. We knew sadly that they would have little time or oportunity to interact with the Haitain people as they were focused on our house project.

We hope that they will have an oportunity to return and exerperence the best part of Haiti...her people. 

We tried to emphasize and express our gratitude to the team and asked them to pass it along to their families and others who suppored the trip and the project. 

They were a huge blessing to us. And that is when the name clicked. I shared it with Cory and the kids and been continuing to think and pray about it the last few weeks. It still resonates with me.

So we plan to call the station: Blessing or 'Beni' in Creole. 

Various meanings of Blessing: 

• God's favor and protection/help and approval; 
• a benifical thing in which one is grateful; 
• a thing conducive to happiness/welfare or bringing well-being; 
• a person's support; 
• approval, encouragement; 
• the act of words of one who blesses

Synonyms or realted words:

• benediction, delight [Delice also means-something giving pleasure; delicacy]
• grace, mercy
• intercession, asking God's favor for
• petition
• prayer
• aid, assistance, help, relief, support
• comfort, consolation
• sanctification
• to dedicate to God

Bless the name of the Lord: praise, worship, glorify, honor, exalt, reverence, magnify...our ultimate goals as followers of Christ. 

This location showcases the Lord's creativity in every direction with the stunning views, ever changing clouds, and spectacular sunrises and sunsets. A blessing to us.

Being able to look down at Port-au-Prince, Cabaret, the southern and northern mountains and pray, interceding for those living in the areas - a blessing. 

How the Lord has provided for the project in funding, supplies, and people to help pray and build. Meeting new friends and feeling the support of many- a blessing. We dedicate the house, the land, our work, our lives, time and energy to the Lord. 

We hope to encourage the local people and our neighbors though spiritual, agricultural and medical training. To help improve their physical welfare and find hapiness in the Lord -to be a blessing.

Our goal to support the national church, in time, through developement of the land to a productive, profitable farm - a blessing.

To have a small base where other missionaries and teammates can come and enjoy the cool mountain breezes and a bit of Haitian history- a blessing. 

And a reminder of the goal...to be a blessing to others and the Lord. 

Good-bye for now... Reflections.

For every happy countdown to family visits is the bookend sad countdown to the inevitable good-bye.

My mind Friday gave me an extra day of peace by tricking me into thinking it was Thursday but that bubble popped at bedtime when I lost my 'extra' day.

The last three days have been rainy, foggy, drippy, so not much work on the house but filled with family time, school, cooking, office work, college application projects and memory making.

Kitchen sink view. Looking toward Port-au-Prince

Tomorrow my folks head out...but I will choose to savor this last day. While feeling and acknowledging the sorrow I will focus on the praise and memories.

How many times during the months we were apart last year did I think...I wish I could just sit for a few hours or enjoy a meal together.


I will enjoy the four meals we have left. I will cherish looking across the room and just being together.

I'll smile to hear them laugh and share stories with the grandkids.

I will intentionally enjoy this day, these moments. I will be thankful for the extra days that Eli will spend with us as well!!

Kitchen sink view.

I appreciate the effort, money, and time it took for them to come and spend time with us. I know that when I look at the widows in the new house I'll remember the precious time that three generations worked together putting in those windows and smile.

I know that my folks will be ambassadors for the new ministry in Délice in a more powerful way having stood surrounded by booya [fog]; shivered in the cold wind; painfully bounced up the mountain road; and marveled at God's handiwork while gazing at the amazing views from here.

As I pray for broken and estranged families, even some missionaries, I remain so grateful for the support of our family members, those who can visit and those who cannot. I know in part this is due to the faithful prayers of generations past-for the future generations to remain true to the Lord.

I know part of it is also due to the faithful prayers of our support team and partners. Thank you. This part is always hard but our hope is in the Lord and that as He promised one day all tears will dry and no more painful good-byes will be endured.

So I start this Lord's Day with praise. The glory and honor go to Him. To worship Him through the whole range of emotions that today and tomorrow will hold.

Filling holes

A week spent chipping away at stones and mortar and filling holes gives one a lot of time to think.

I've looked very closely at a lot of rocks.

Some have treasures of sparkling crystals or fossil shells that cause me to smile.

But mostly I focused on the negative points.

Sometimes a weak areas or holes were very obvious.

Other times most of the 1 1/2 foot thick wall looked strong and solid, but a bit of chipping to remove a high spot revealed a hidden empty hole.

Sometimes that hole led back into a space large enough for my hand to fit inside or a tunnel that admitted light from the other side of the wall!

I'm not a fan of empty spots in my house walls. I need strong walls to keep out the rain, wind and fog.

Strong walls to withstand hurricane force winds and earthquake tremors that shake this land.

I prefer to fill in the holes...piping in cement mortar to fill in the voids and add strength.

At one point when rushing to beat the setting son Cory remarked that the remaining mortar could not do much but thankfully he let me finish.

As I filled in a couple more holes I was reminded of the childhood story of the little Dutch boy who held back the sea by putting his finger in a hole in the dike and standing faithfully until help found him.

My help comes from the Lord, my Savior and God.

I'm very thankful for the work He he's done in my life this year.

I'm not a fan of holes or weaknesses in my life.

Chipping away at negative thought patterns, selfish actions, and harsh words causes pain but then the Lord fills in those areas with His love and truth making me stronger.

Little by little, as I allow Him to work, He refines, transforms and strengthens me.

He points out the positives when I listen closely for His truth and intentionally focus on Him and refuse to accept the devil's lies.

This world needs more truth and Love.

We do not need to change or earn them.

We do not need to search or work.

We just need to ask the Lord.

He loves me. He loves me with every hole, crack, and flaw. He's always loved me. He loves ME. He made ME.  His plans for ME are good. His plans are the best.

He loves You. He made You in His image. His plans for You are for your Best and they are Good.