Chaos of feelings

 So many feelings bubbling to the surface these days-- good, bad and ugly.

Yesterday during my shower, the guilt and sorrow of showering in clean drinking-quality water, while knowing how many in Haiti don't have any access to good water, hit me like a wave. 

I'm thankful for my blessings. I praise you Lord. I'm blessed. And I'm hurting. 

Lord protect, provide for Your people!

No fuel means so much more than just not being able to drive a car, get on a bus/taxi/motorcycle .....

There is fuel in Port-au-Prince. The missing piece remains security for delivery, therefore the gangs basically hold the fuel hostage, denying the country the ability to buy fuel.

- No generator fuel: hospitals and morgues cannot function and shut their doors. More people die. More people suffer.

- No cell phone service. Isolation. Lack of encouragement. Lack of news. Lack of connection.

- No delivery of water or food = physical suffering, illness, possible death.

-No electric or generators at night mean no lights. Darkness increases dangers. 

- No school for most of Haiti's students. Delaying or erasing educational opportunities and dreams for hundreds of thousands of families. 

- No work for so many who cannot walk to work.

-Educated business people who can leave the country...possibly never to return, causing a permanent depletion of needed professionals, commerce, employment opportunities. 

For some people life goes on fairly normally because they live in the country far from gangs. 

They live on the food they produce locally. 

Their water comes from a local source.

They too suffer with the instability of the country, plagued with questions: what will happen to their family and friends who do live in cities; what if they need medical care only found in bigger cities; when will they be able to get supplies that come from other locations; when will they be safely able to travel again; what if???

Without security, no assistance or development work can be successfully implemented for those who need it most. 

Lord, I can picture You on your throne listening with a breaking heart to the multitude of prayers from around the globe being lifted up on behalf of Haiti's captives every minute of the day.

So much pain. So much hurt. So much anger. So much frustration. So much chaos. So much evil.

Those being held agains their will as victims of kidnapping, domestic slaves, human trafficking, as well as those in bondage to fear, anger, bitterness and sin. 

Lord, I have many questions. Lord, I know of your great wisdom and power. Lord, I know you love our Haitian brothers and sisters more than I. 

Lord I know Your love is perfect.  Lord, I choose to trust. In the middle of my messy feelings I choose to lift my eyes up to You.

Lord may Your will be done.