Why was I born into a Christian farm family in Michigan?
Was was I given the talents, resources and miracles needed to start, survive and complete my medical training despite having a learning disability?
Why was I given the privilege of being a mom to two neat kids and being able to keep them at home for schooling which gives us hours of interesting learning interaction on a daily basis?
Why am I allowed to live in Haiti though the generously of a wonderful support team and touch the lives of special people?
Today clinic held some special challenges. It is a witness to the Lord's working in me that I didn't have a blow up or melt down.
First major stress was the 17 month old baby sitting miserably on her Dad's lap. She was feeling rotten and no wonder with an outside temperature in the 90's and her body temperature being 103. Completed the history and physical. Wrote out a prescription for some liquid Tylenol to be taken before she had her lab. tests drawn and waited for them. ROADBLOCK. We have nothing for reducing a child's fever in the pharmacy. Should I see if we have some up to the house??? But then if a child comes in worse temperature in the middle of a rain storm I'll have nothing. Better to send one of the parents to a near by town to get the medication while the other waits for the labs.
Follow up-they got the medications and by the time the results were back her fever was dropping and she was doing better. She received treatment for malaria.
An 60 year old lady with multiple problems [anemia, body aches, fever], a 68 year old with a 'heavy head' [normal labs therefore received multivitamins].
A tiny cute little girl of 3 years 8 months who was just tiny. Her dad was worried about her size and weight. She was under the 3rd percentile for height and weight. But a computer check while she was getting labs showed that her body mass index was normal. So for her height her weight was normal-not the first level of malnutrition that plotting her age and weight showed. Her physical exam was normal and labs showed mild anaemia. So she went home with some iron and a date to return so we can follow her growth. Her dad was short and he reported her mom is too-so maybe she's just destined to be little. She sweetly told us thank you for the children's book.
The saddest case was the one that caused me to get the 'Why me's?" A relatively young lady [30's'] came in complaining of two weeks of fever, weakness, and shortness of breath. She looked chronically ill, extremely thin and weak. Her last child was born 2 years ago and she hadn't had a period since giving birth. She knew she was anemic.
Her physical exam showed very pale conjunctiva and very rapid heart rate. Lungs were clear. Abdomen other than being so flat that her spine was easily palpable showed no masses or tenderness. Her extremities were barely more than skin on bone-no edema. No sores.
She just looked totally wore out.
While denying that she could possible have HIV she reluctantly agreed to have the test. I generally don't request this test much but I had a sinking feeling.
Gathering more history we learned that she had attended a Baptist church and had repented. However the hurricanes destroyed her church and she moved and hasn't gone since. I don't know if she meant the big hurricanes in 2004 or 2008. She has three daughters a 15 year old and then two by her current husband ages 4, and 2 years. They are OK.
Her test came back positive. I consulted Dr. Viximar on where the nearest treatment program is and confirmed that it is free of charge. I then saw all my other patients first to help clear out the bench that is right under my clinic window. Praying I called her in. She did not want to believe the news---"But I don't have diarrhea?!?" She remarked that her husband was waiting outside so with her permission we invited him in and again explained her diagnosis.
He was very calm. Asked about getting himself tested. Nodded in agreement when I suggested that the girls be tested as well. We discussed the treatment program in Limbe and how with medications she may feel much better. If they wanted to continue to follow for her anemia at our clinic that was fine but we don't have the medications for treating HIV.
Lastly I asked if I could pray. Certainly. So taking her bony hands in mind I asked the Lord for help. To give them wisdom. Healing. Thanked Him for caring and loving her. That no matter where this life leads her that He will be there every step of the way. I asked for health for her daughters.
They quietly thanked me, picked up the reference letter, prescription and Creole tract and left my room. And my reflection began. What would my life had been if I had been born her??? Or her daughters? Will I see her again in this life? While I was given the task of delivering a bad diagnosis I pray that she felt the Lord's love throughout the encounter. I hope that the touch of my hand held enough comfort and compassion that she could feel it.
Why did I get the painful privilege of being her doctor today? Could I of done more? Anything better? But her ultimate care is in the Hands of the "Doctor of all excellence" and He cares more than I.
Thank you for letting me share. And thanks to those who prayed for me today.
4 comments:
For such a time as this- That is the answer to all your whys in a simplistic way. You were there for this woman, delivering this news with compassion, no judgment and hard honesty. Having dealt with the medical community a lot this past week I can tell you that compassion and love and prayer are all soooooo important. God bless you for the work you are doing on his behalf way outside comfort zones. For such a time as this my friend.
Love. hugs. prayers. I am so thankful for the work the Lord is doing through you. I'm a sobbing mess. Your post put me there.
It's ok to ask "Why?"
But really, you know why you have been given the skills, training and position.
You are doing God's will!
Please be blessed in knowing that truth.
You are in our thoughts and prayers continually.
Things never seem clear while we're in the moment - but so often we can look back later and get an "aha" moment and realize God's plan was perfect all along.
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