My Dearest Haiti.

My dearest Haiti,

Only two memories in my life shine clearer than when you entered with your different sounds, sights, tastes and feelings.

 Even during that short first visit of three weeks during kindergarden you forever changed my impressionable outlook of life.

Returning to live in your warm, welcoming hug for two years as a grade schooler continued the life lessons.

Sparkling sea waves washing over the slick backs of dolphins on the boat trips to LaGonave.

The torturous hours spent with mom teaching me, counting the minutes until I could go to the hospital to 'work' or observe.

 A tiny dream planted that would grow and pull me to return to that same hospital as a young doctor and mother years later. Once again learning lessons from your people and continuing to become one of them.

Laughing and crying with  friendships forged during the tropical days of absorbing your history, culture and language.

Those who do not know my story may assume I'm American but they cannot see under my skin or in my brain where the Haitian parts rest, thrive and influence the course of my life.

You shaped my ideas of justice and hope.

You showed me in the faces of your people what it means to be hungry or thirsty.

 I saw first hand what a lack of hope looked like as well as how the return of hope could lift the spirit.

 I watched children die. I watched children born. I watched, felt and learned.

You taught me over the years of my life how helping and good intentions can hurt. How sometimes the best course of action can be painful and misunderstood.

You taught me to closely listen to the Lord and ask for His wisdom, knowledge, grace and mercy.

My dearest Haiti, you taught me to take risks and pick my battles wisely. You knocked many a hard edge off my character and hurt me.

You also helped me to grow and heal. Without you I would not be me.

My dearest Haiti, I watch as you mold and shape my children in many of the same ways you shaped me. I'm grateful for the young people you  helped to mold and shape in my home.

While each of us remains unique we also share a special view of the world from our American Haitian eyes and hearts.

On the eve of the 4th anniversary of the 2010 earthquake that changed us all my feelings and memories mix together with a kaleidoscope of good and bad.

Of memories to be repressed and pushed down and those that rise to the top and wish…no need to be acknowledged.

 I can say the same of the 15 years you've cradled our family in your land, your memories make me smile through my tears.

I'll never forget as you mingle with the very fibers of my being.

 Lord Bless Haiti. Change her negatives for the better. Do not let her positive beauties and strengths fade or weaken. Dry her tears.  May she be all You created her to be. May I as well.

Like the waves on the sea the highs and lows living in my dearest Haiti can change rapidly but one fact remains in the mist of time and change. I love you. Thank you Lord for my dearest Haiti.

Earthquake reflections.

New Fauche Church

Yesterday's weather fit my mood just as if I could of picked it. Not bright sunshine, not thundering torrential downpour of rain that represents power but a grey, slow drizzle that makes one think that the whole world of nature had joined the sadness of the day.

Yesterday Haiti remembered and thought again of that fateful day, 3 years ago when lives ended or changed permanently following a few seconds of a powerful 7.0 earthquake.

Life changed but continued for the survivors. Questions and hurts remain but we go on putting one foot in front of the other. Some remain stuck in the hurts and pain while others strive to heal, learning how to live and thrive despite the scars and pain that remain.

Slowly lives rebuild like buildings. People make new connections, new relationships not to replace those we lost but to fill some of the gaps left by those special friends taken so fast and without warning.

Relationships and time now feel more fleeting and fragile. Never to be taken for granted but to be cherished and enjoyed as the gifts from God that they are.

With the passing of time I also find myself continuing to look for the positives that came out of the earthquakes perhaps to try to ease the pain of the unanswerable question of why?

Campus / Community Bookstore

 I think of the baby born under primitive conditions of a field hospital with a life threading birth defect who in hours found the medical treatment and surgeons needed to save his life. Had this child been born just a few weeks earlier it is doubtful that the needed care would of been available to this family.

I think of being reduced to my basic core personality, habits and attitudes unable to hid behind a comfort zone or mask. This forced me to face some of the problem areas of my life and decide if I wanted to continue to live as before or make the needed changes to improve.

  Cory, Eli and Anna gave me a necklace the first summer following the quake that I rarely take off. It reads "Jeremiah 31:3 I have loved thee with everlasting love." Everlasting. Unchanging despite changing life circumstances.

 The verse is a mobius band design, I like the symbolism. Mobius by definition is a surface with only one side and only one boundary component, the mathematical property of being non-orientable.

So as it hangs on the necklace it always changes and not predictable like life, but His Love, His being, His Plan remains totally reliable and trustworthy. Lord, may I have enough faith to always believe.

 I'm thankful I did not remain the person who I was three years ago and that with the grace of God I will continue to change.

Two Years..

Bryan Fox's FB Wall photo.

Feeling pensive today. Remembering. Questioning. Mourning.

National holiday as people remember, pray, think and yes continue to mourn.

 Two years later. 50% of rubble cleared from Port-au-Prince streets they say. Still over 500,000 living in tents reported. Every life here changed in some way. 

So much pain and hurt but here and there positive points, good did occur and continues to occur in lives because of the quake. 

Change always causes pain. But do we decide to let that pain change us better or make us bitter. Haiti contains many people in both categories. 

So much pain still so real and sharp.

So much remains to be done. Thankful for what has been done.

Thankful for those who prayed, gave, sent and came. 

Reminder that tomorrow is not promised. We only have right now.

 Today to be intentional with our life.

What remains when the dust clears- not things or buildings. What remains are the lives we touch. 

Memories of the time we connected with that person who's life rapidly came to an end.

What will continue after my life should the Lord call me home will be the lives I touched, the folks I helped to become better people [or worse, unfortunately]. 

I cannot do this alone.

 Lord work though me. Lord make my impact a positive one. 

Lord help me not waste time or money on the fleeting things of this world. 

Use me to make an eternal Kingdom impact. Use me to ease the pain of this life and help people see the hope of eternal life. 

Written Feb. 11, one month post-quake.

While I know many of your have been praying for Haiti I want to encourage you to continue. And before praying generally I'd like you to take a minute to think about a few specific situations. Hundreds of thousands of people continue to suffer and will for months and years to come.

Elderly lady: Who will care for me now that my family is gone? My body aches from sleeping on the ground. What will happen when the rains come? Where can I get the money for my blood pressure medications so that I don't have another stroke. If I had the money where can I buy the medications?

Eighteen year old student: What about my plans and dreams. My family sacrificed so much to keep me in school-going without food, clothes at times. Now my school is destroyed. Will it be rebuilt? When will school restart? So many teachers were killed? If it starts how will I find the money to replace the books and uniforms that were destroyed? Would I even be able to study with the memories of my friends and teachers who were lost?

Pregnant mother of small children: What am I to do? Will my six year old's crushed finger be saved? Can I keep waiting day after day for the dressing to be changed? Will he lose the finger? A hand? The arm or his life? How am I to find water and food for the kids today? I don't feel safe in the sheet walls on the street. What if someone learns I have a bit of rice and comes to steal it or worse? What will I do if I have trouble with delivering my child like last time and the hospital is closed?

Father of 6: I had it all, a nice block house and a truck for a taxi service. Now I have lost it all. My truck is crushed beneath a wall of blocks. It will never run again. How am I to find the money to live let alone rebuild a house for my family. Even if I had the money to rebuild, I don't want to ever live in a block house again. But what will we do? When the hurricane wind and rains come-how will I protect my family?

Young lady: I'm fortunate. I have a standing house but I'm too scared to sleep or stay inside. What if another earthquake hits? I can't sleep. I can't eat. My body aches. All I can picture is the faces of the 10 family members I lost and my friends. Over 70% of Petit Goave's buildings were destroyed. The hotel I once worked at, fell claiming 198 lives. I can never work there again. I'd like to leave this place of terror and memories but where can I go?

Each of these represent thousands of real life stories. You likely know the pain of losing a family member or friend. Some here lost 20-30 family members and know of hundreds missing or dead. Stress and just the struggle to survived day to day is overwhelming. In church on Sunday the Pastor stated he didn't know if the earthquake was nature, punishment from God or Satan hurting God through hurting His people. Many questions and few answers. Pray for peace. Pray for people to find strength in the Lord, Who never changes. Pray that those still in bondage will find freedom in Him. Pray about how you can help in Haiti.

Dr. Kris Thede

Earthquake Reflections 2-Trip back North

A drizzly night led into a drizzly overcast day. Eli and Anna talked about being home on Saturday so much that I reminded them now and then that while Plan A included getting home on Saturday-often in Haiti one ends up on Plan B or C.

An uneventful drive to the airport and getting though security. We didn't bring all of our stuff or the stuff that we were bringing back north for the clinic. Almost all the medical supplies in Haiti shifted South in the first days following the quake. After the donations started to arrive the South had way more supplies than the North therefore we thankfully picked up some overstocked supplies for the clinic.

With 7 of us flying I really didn't want to deal with a lot of boxes and luggage so we left a large pile to come the following week with Chris and Kathleen. Delayed because of weather and a questionable departure-the news that we could load into the plane put smiles on our faces.

Busy air traffic delayed our departure so we waited in the plane. Anna fell asleep. We flew further East than on our first trip and had a good view of the hydroelectric plant and lake. Soon the clouds dropped lower and we experienced flying between the mountains and a turn around.

Yes-we turned around and landed at the Pignon airstrip. Thankfully a terminal complete with bathroom had been added since our first flight here in 2003. We snacked on some treats while waiting the news. Finally the pilot [4 days into his Haiti visit] said we could return to Port-au-Prince for free or stay in Pignon and play for the flight that far. While we were only 20 air miles from Cap we knew that it would take us a few hours drive-if we could find a good driver or have our truck driven from Cap to get us.

By now it was early afternoon-so we tried a couple numbers of folks we knew who lived in Pignon. Come to find out a friend of ours build a very nice guest house just off the end of the runway. And he could give us a ride to Cap the next morning as he traveled to the DR. The weather remained cold. A nice bed, cold shower, good supper, movie night and a ride in the morning. Not bad for Plan B.

Thanks-Neil.

The road hadn't improved any but the experience I'm sure is one that the Bailey's and Jeremy still talk about. Lunch in Cap. A calm drive home. Thankful to be there.

So looking back-I'm glad we didn't have all the boxes of stuff. But if you read the blog about Chris and Kathleen's return trip you'll see that the big bag with most of the medications and tools didn't make it-I wish I had brought that one with us.

Earthquake Reflections 2-Trip to Port.

Immediately following the birth of a baby we loaded into the back of the big truck along with members of a couple of different teams. Eli and I ended up sitting on luggage and boxes that made up the middle of the truck. Everyone else sat on stuff on the outer edges or back. A couple folks sat up front with the driver.

By the time we neared Port a light drizzle had started and darkness was falling. A few folks needed to be dropped off at the English school compound. All expressed thankfulness by the time we safely reached Pastor Carl's. Both the Sloans and Baileys had flown down to Port earlier in the week after hosting a team from Grant Michigan.

Supper. A bit of repacking as some items would come with us in the morning as we planned to fly back North on an MAF Kodiak. Baileys and Joel [short termer] would be accompanying us. Other medical supplies would wait until Chris and Kathleen returned North in another week.

Because of the threat of another large quake no one was housed in the second story of the house. Now I had slept upstairs one night and it didn't bother me. I think because at last I had connected with the Wesleyan team and being the fifth night exhaustion made sleeping easier. Also I didn't have time to think about it.

Now after close to 4 weeks of caring for many injuries from bricks, having tried to find advice on how to best protect one's self during a earthquake in a brick building and finding nothing, having our kids along the story was different. I honestly don't know when/if I'll be able to sleep comfortably under a cement or brick roof again.

Thankfully a tent on the top of the little back house with two air mattresses fit our family just right. Climbing the ladder in the rain barefooted [seemed safer than plastic sandals] tested nerves a little. My nice personal easily accessible bathroom at home never looked so good.

The weeks in a hot or wet tent on a thin mattress with ants may not be something I'll ever ask to experience again. But at the same time we it reminded us to pray for the hundreds of thousands around us who had NO home to return to. Who slept nightly on dirt under a bit of sheet or tin. Many had no money or food and no idea where or when the next mouthful of food would come.

Eating MRE's taught us to be thankful for our food, for what our military goes though for us and again reminded us to pray for those with no food.

While we could look forward to comfortable beds, food in the cupboards, running water, a roof, a floor, electricity. Many clung to small bits of hope that help would come soon. Thankfully many clung or turned to the Lord in the midst of their troubles.

Recently a missionary in Port who held a large evangelistic crusade in Port around the holidays reported that he personally knows of 10,000 commitments to the Lord in the 4 months following the quake. The Lord has not forgotten Haiti. He is at work!!

Earthquake Reflections 2-Winding up. Final Baby Stories.

I'm compelled to share a couple more baby stories to finish out the trip.

One lady in labor unfortunately arrived just before the start of clinic. A well meaning person pointed her up to the line of waiting people. Minutes later the call echoed down to the medical staff to run to help the lady delivering a baby while in line.

I only paused on my way through the pharmacy building to grab a pair of gloves knowing that Michele stopped for an army stretcher. Thanks to friendly hands the healthy looking baby girl rested between mom's legs on some soft clothes. After mom transferred to the stretcher the guys transported her right to the OB room for the cord cutting and delivery of the placenta.

Later that day two babies delivered simultaneously-one in the OB room and the second outside under a tarp. Unfortunately one of the cords tore, causing additional bleeding before being rapidly clamped and tied off. You can always count on deliveries for drama.

I took some cute [in my opinion] pictures of Anna doing her job of taking care of the placentas. I'll spare you the grossness but suffice it to say that this trip confirms that neither of my kids faint at the sight of blood.

Reports filter back about our cord prolapse C-section and the C-section prior to her. The mother of the cord prolapse up and walking about doing great. The other mother who complained of not being able to move her legs prior to the C-sec still cannot stand or walk but the strength in her legs returned. According to the family a national doctor administered an injection of Pictocin IM to induce her labor. After this treatment they brought her to our clinic.

The last gal we saw deliver in Ti Goave used up the energy of everyone in the room with her active labor. I don't remember ever seeing anyone like her before. It didn't take long to know why the labor table lay on the floor. Without a doubt her active thrashing would of knocked the table over had the legs been under it. In one labor pain she may end up in 5 positions:stand, squat, flat on her back, on her side, both arms grasping one leg with her knee to her mouth, on her knees, facing the right then the left- a 180 degree spin. Remarkably like some folks who used to break dance but thankfully without the head spin!

Despite making a little progress she alternated between begging for the scissors to adamantly declaring 'can't'. I worried a bit seeing the truck arrive for our family and the team but thankfully her delivery coincided with the truck being fully loaded. While we didn't stay to see the cord cut or placenta delivery I'm thankful we experienced one last healthy baby delivery!

Anna's baby total for the week ended up at 12 and Eli's at 3. I don't remember at all.

Earthquake Reflections 2-Last week OB night call.

Well I never 'officially' took first call but many nights when I woke to a Haitian women 'singing' through labor I'd wander up and use my Creole and years of coaching labor patients to advise the lady and her family how to improve the situation.

This night differed from the other nights in that when I arrived the pharmacy and OB area I found no lights on and all the doors locked. Not finding any of the Haitian nurses to inform me about the two singing ladies I took my own histories. One informed me that this would be her 5th child and she had been checked 'earlier'. The younger lady labored for the first time.

Now from past experiences I've learned never to trust a lady in labor-not even for the first baby but my trust level drops as the number of children goes up. Also one could assume that as the ladies had been checked and then left on their own that they had been in the early stages of labor but how long ago?

Nervously I hunted for the person with the key to the pharmacy/OB room. My pace quickened as one of the singers shrieking set off excited yells that the baby was coming. In the dark I fumbled my way through the pharmacy, grabbed some gloves, turned on the light of the OB and opened up the door.

Checking the first time mom where she stood by the bench the emergency became clear. When her waters broke the cord prolapsed out ahead of the baby's head. Now if mom pushed at all the baby's oxygen supply could be cut off causing brain damage or death. Please Lord let us help and have a good baby.

Rapidly her family and I moved her into the OB room while yelling for help. Getting her on her knees in a head down position took some doing as she didn't understand the urgency. Now with my hand pushing the little one's head back from the cervix and with gravity helping we needed to plan.

• Check for baby's heart rate. Normal.
• See if any medication to slow and weaken the contractions could be found. Yes! She received the shot which should make my job easier-keeping that head from pushing on the cord.
• Call the local hospital to see about an Emergency C-section. They said they would be waiting.
• Get another doctor along to catch the baby as I could not leave my job until after the baby's birth.
• Get yet another doctor for the delivery of the second lady -now singing with greater intensity.
• Then while still holding the baby's head back the mother and I needed to move together-her getting on a stretcher-out the door, across the dark rock filled yard, up onto the back of a pickup truck, back off the truck, into the hospital, onto the OR table.
• We then rotated the mom into position for her spinal anesthesia, Foley catheter and preparation for surgery. I lowered my body as low as I could-hand now painfully cramping with the effort to protect the cord-as the surgical drapes descended around my head and body. Even in this strange position I enjoyed the air conditioning.

Soon I felt the lifting of the head as the pressure on my fingers released. I followed the baby out of the OR into a near by room. After incubation and suction he received a few minutes of oxygen with the help of an ambu-bag. He received glucose and volume though an umbilical line. A dose of antibiotics and a lovely blue outfit with matching hat and blanket.

He and mom did fine according to the report from the hospital later in the day. The second mother delivered her baby and left for home before we returned to the campus. Thank you Lord.

Earthquake Reflections 2-Last week Triage

The last week we stayed at Ti Goave the clinic started to taper down in preparations to move to a new site just over 4 miles away. Each day of the week fewer adults received numbers to be seen by the medical personal. Children under 12, pregnant ladies, the elderly and the very sick continued to be seen.

We did a couple of things to help ease tensions from those who did not receive a ticket. First we started to offer blood pressure checks. Without a ticket a person could enter and have their blood pressure checked. Then I would review the result and advise as necessary.

• Great! You don't have blood pressure problems. Recheck in a 1-2 years.
• Your blood pressure isn't high enough to be seen today. Cut back on the salt, try to loose some weight [if needed], exercise and have your pressure checked again in 3-4 weeks.
• Here is a card. Please wait for you number to be called and you'll be seen.
• And the lady who's pressure was 280's/160. Please come with me and be seen NOW!

A second change that smoothed things over for many people with non-serious complaints occurred when we found a boxes and boxes of multi symptom cold medications-both for daytime and nighttime. Many people complained of minor colds, muscle pains and inability to sleep.

These people in developed countries would of gone to the store and purchased an over the counter medication for their problems. But over the counter medications in Haiti can be hard to find and even at this time would not of been free. So armed with our two types of cold medications and some prepac

kage bags of Ibuprofen we added medication distribution to the triage line.

Hundreds of people received medications after a simple consultation with me up at the line but never received a ticket. Each person not receiving a ticket I reminded that the local hospital's clinic remained an option for care should they need additional treatment. "But I need to see a doctor" received [most of the time] a nice smile from me while pointing out on my name tag that they had seen a doctor, and they were free to go.

The last few days Pastor Eric from Michigan lead singing and a short devotions before the triage started. I believed this greatly helped the positive attitude of the crowds as well.

Earthquake Reflections 2-Last week

Enjoyed meeting a team from Iowa who adopted us into their 'family'. We enjoyed getting to know them, working with them and helping them eat food treats that they brought along. They spent time with Eli and Anna as well. This team ended up traveling with us back to Port-au-Prince and overnighting Friday night at the Wesleyan guest house.

A second special team that we met the last week came from Northern lower Michigan and one of the members lived in Haiti as a kid while I lived here. Very interesting how fast folks can connect even after over 30 years of not seeing one each other....when your a 'MK' or 'TCK'.

Now John's folks are good friends and we have enjoyed connecting with them from time to time over the years both in Haiti and in the USA. John reminds me a lot of my brother Todd-they were friends back when we'd stay with John's family once a month during trips to Port from LaGonave.

So an important benefit and blessing of the trips to help out was connecting with friends from the past and new friends. Many folks are keeping in touch by E-mail--thank you.

One interesting medical story to share today. Tuesday of that week, a young 19 year old male, while eating spaghetti at home suddenly fell forward off his chair. Family found him to be unconscious, bleeding from his nose and mouth.

Before hearing the history and just glancing at him while walking to the table where he lay stiffly--my first thought "tetanus". But on closer observation it dawned on me that the position of his hands was posturing-a seizure. His right pupil-blown. All doctors agreed on a diagnosis of blown aneurysm due to the suddenness of the attack and to his physical exam.

Now treatment in many other countries would of been more aggressive. Remember this young man is at a field clinic in post earthquake Haiti. He received medications to control the seizures and prayer. I explained to the family what we thought had occurred and that without a miracle that the young man would die. What did they want to do?

In Haiti it can cost 4 times more to transport a dead body than a living person. So many times in a critical case the family will decide to take the patient home when no further treatment is available. The family decided to take the young man home.

A bit later a team member came to find me due to concern over this young man. The family's arrangement to transport him home turned out to be a motorcycle. While this shocked the team it could not hurt him.

Almost every motorcycle you see in Haiti works as a taxi. The driver remained in front while a family member sat behind, his arms holding the comatose man's body on the motorcycle in the middle position. No something you'll see in most countries.

12 April Reflections

A wall hanging given to me years ago on LaGonave caught my eye today with a new thought.

Romans 12:12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. My thought = what a great description of the Haitian Christians, post earthquake. Thinking back again of the thousands of voices lifted in songs of praise and adoration the night following the quake in Port-au-Prince. Joy in hope, patience in prayer and sorrow, faithfulness in prayer-I witnessed all these and more.

A young visitor shared that after he heard about the catastrophe he wondered "Why Haiti". But after visiting he decided maybe part of the answer was that the Haitians could handle it better than most 'developed' nations like the USA. I think that some truth can be found in those words.

A great reminder for me. I live a wonderful life but some things can make me wish for a different way. For the first time in a very long time only 4 of us sat down to lunch. While Chris and Kathleen [and the Baileys] lived next door we enjoyed their company for lunch. Now we need to adjust to just the 4 of us again.

Good byes hurt. Good byes hurt more when you say good bye to great people. But far better to have the painful good byes than to live lives of isolation and loneliness.

A second item today I wished I could change is waiting. Weeks ago we ordered standardized tests for Eli and Anna. I thought I worked it out so that we could get the tests sent here, take them and send them out with Sloans, simplifying the return process. Well I did not think about the tests being sent in a large enough envelope/box that it would be considered cargo and not mail.

Remember that our cargo is held in Ft. Pierce until Cory plans a trip to Cap Haitian to the airport because the trip takes all day and is not worth it on a weekly basis. After contacting our mail service it may take a couple of flights before they have room for our cargo-so we wait.

I know that the Lord knows best but it can be hard to wait. This in my opinion should already be marked off my to-do list. But I try to wait with a good attitude. Maybe my kids would of been sick this week or to tired and will do better next week?!?

Romans 12:12 words to live by...... or at least try.

14 April Earthquake Trip 2- Fear with an ER case.

Despite being in a earthquake zone, living in a tent on a campus without a perimeter wall guarded by teenagers at night I did not experience fear...until this night.

About 8:30 p.m. a call for help came from the 'ER'. Everyone who could help came up as multiple victims from a motor vehicle crash arrived. The first man I helped with should of been in a well equipped trauma room as he bled from both ears, combatively thrashing his body around and not understanding a thing. We treated him the best we could and prayed.

A second man received multiple facial fractions and we sent him down the road to the hospital.

A couple other young men brought into the procedure room for stitching of a knee, and treatment of minor wounds. When they received medication I found a couple friends in the crowd to help them go home. Half-way across the yard-beside the table where the serious case lay the Haitian staff anxiously forced us back into the back room.

Both the victims and the folks being held responsible for the crash received care from us. But while receiving care the growing crowd's agitation also grew as the critical man's condition became apparent to all.

Rapid consultation with the Haitian staff and American resulted in our plan to be shipping the critical case to another location-not that any of the medical people thought he would arrive alive but to disperse the crowd before he died, allowing a major fight to be averted, and any revenge to be delayed.

The easiest and best way to transport the man and keep the vehicle clean and lower the risk of contamination of those caring for him ironically turned out to place him on a body bag. Thick heavy black waterproof plastic with handles for ease of lifting him. On the way to the vehicle he suddenly sat upright and vomited a great deal of blood which both enraged and excited the crowd further.

I immediately returned to lock the outer door of the procedure room that still contained the driver and his friend. Before turning back I yelled at the Americans to go back to the building but most either did not hear or did not understand the urgency. I stood waiting to lock the front door of the pharmacy anxiously listening to the crowd and praying.

I sent a couple of the Haitian staff to retrieve the Americans and as soon as all where in the pharmacy quickly locked the padlock and went around the side of the building. The American Marines, neighbors unfortunately pulled out just before this incident.

The Haitian police should be on the way but we did not know how long it would take them to come. Lights off in the pharmacy. A coin flip determined which of the two leaders would stay with the driver while the other worked on speeding up the police.

I checked on the kids, peacefully sleeping in the tents. I then grabbed my journal and found a spot behind the pharmacy building to sit, wait and pray. Thankfully in a short time the Haitian staff came looking for me because the Americans in the building with the driver would not open the door for them even though the police stood outside.

I assured the Americans that the danger no longer existed so the doors opened and the young men placed into police custody. I'm thankful for the police and the Lord. The ending of this story could of turned out much worse. Thank you to those who prayed for us during this trip and on a regular basis.

12 April 3 Months Post Quake- Reflections

I've changed and am changing. The Lord shaking up my life in this post-quake world means priorities changing, thoughts deepening, emotions awaking.

A suitable mental picture for my life right now would be the refining of silver. This used to be a multi step process using repeated melting to purify the precious metals. I don't know where I am in the process but I'm a few levels into the process.

I need to acknowledge those of you who carried me [and continue] to carry me with your intercessory prayers. The fact that I'm living a normal life, at this point testifies to the Lord's goodness, compassion and the effects of your prayers. Thank you.

One week into our second week at Ti Goave Cory joined up with a team from Relief International. Later that same day a new team from Iowa joined the team. Corey and Jim, team leaders had been missionaries in Port-au-Prince a few years ago when we met them for the first time.

This team accepted our family and became friends during our week together. They helped to encourage me which at this point being tired and yes often grumpy I needed lots of encouragement!

ER patient-a young lady with a brain tumor arrived with one page of several of a CT brain scan and the French report. The Spanish doctors looked at the information an determined that there was nothing that they could do. We prayed with her and she returned home. One more hope dashed.

Sunday afternoon before Jake and Joy, ER residents left Joy delivered one last mom. The mom arrived in the back of a pickup truck. Joy jumped up and delivered a baby boy and girl. Babies handed to nurses who cleaned and dressed them. Mom remained on the truck-I jumped up and assisted Joy with the delivery of the placentas. Everything with mom and babies turned out great so they returned home with the mother never getting off the back of the truck.

A clumsy young girl unfortunately tripped turning supper into a second degree burns. At first we thought the burnt skin had been treated with mud but on closer inspection it was the bean sauce. Because the burns include her face, neck and upper chest concern for her airway was paramount. During the visit her mom pointed out many other scars from her daughter not being careful. Her mom returned the following day with her for followup and we thankfully assured her that everything would be OK.

Earthquake Reflections Trip 2-end of week 1

Down side of deliveries. Eli attempted to watch his first delivery.

First lady came in labor one day after a 'normal' ultrasound showing a girl. We couldn't find a heart rate on baby and the amniotic sac did not feel normal. Soon it became apparent that this delivery would not have a happy ending. I sent Eli away. The baby boy had not been alive during the ultrasound.

A second delivery that same afternoon and for a second time I sent Eli away. A 4 month, 7 day pregnancy delivered without problem.

The following morning both kids came at my request to see a nice normal delivery. The lady came with no family or friends. Very unusual. She delivered in the few minutes between government power and the starting of the mission generator. Eli held the flashlight. Anna held the baby.

While the lady carried a small bag she did not have a second set of clothing. We found her a white paper gown. A few hours later, during clinic I noticed her walking up the driveway. Slowly she walked-small bag in one hand and her newborn boy in the other. Eyes bright he sucked at her plastic gown which already contained a tear in the wet and weakened by his rooting.

I walked over to talk to her. With tired eyes looking into mine she explained that she did not want to wait any longer for family. While she labored she shared her lack of a house, or help. Being new to the area she lacked a support system.

Could we help with housing she humbly asked. So sorry-maybe your pastor can help? New to a Wesleyan church-her face reflected her thoughts doubting that help would be coming her way.

Did you get some help? Did someone feed you so that you can nurse your new son? What about your other two children-do they sleep in a bed, in a tent? Did you find care at your new church? Do you have friends helping you now?

I'm glad we supported you during your labor. I'm glad your son traveled home dressed and with a blanket. I wish I could of helped you more.

Earthquake Reflections Trip 2-Day 6

The crowds grew smaller by the day and the Spanish doctors complained that I sent to many people away. The leadership protected me by pointing out: 1] threatening rain kept folks away 2] the hospital started to see folks 3] the limited medication supply.

The plan for a slow phase out of the clinic starting the following week would work better with smaller crowds as well. So we looked at the fewer patients as a blessing. The first week adult patients numbers tapered down exception being pregnant ladies and the very sick. Second week pediatric cases would also be tapered.

While the free medical care saved many lives post-earthquake how to return to pay for service medical care is complicated. Many organizations medications had been donated with the understanding that they would not be 'sold'. On the other hand 'free' doesn't pay for hospital or clinic staff's salaries.

Haitian doctors not only lost family members, homes and processions but now they couldn't make a living by using their training and skills. The transition back to 'normal' care had to take place but hopefully with positive changes that will continue to help the people of Haiti for years to come.

Tents very hot at mid-day so most afternoons following lunch Eli and I would sit on the sea wall and write in our journals. This cove holds a history of pirate ships and war. Now it holds the Spanish's large military ship.

Earthquake Reflections Trip 2-Day 5-6

By now your all aware of the general pattern of our days. So from now on I'm going to focus just on the interesting stories or unique situations.

On Thursday afternoon our family took a walk down town TiGoave. We visited the Wesleyan church but otherwise just walked up and down some of the streets. Most places folks knew my name. While it surprised me it shouldn't of as I had interacted with thousands of people during the three weeks of triage.

One home we looked into the lower story. Major structural damage spoke to the force of the quake. The Happy Birthday banner and decorations still visible from the open doorway touched us. A family celebration interrupted by a national catastrophe. We could not help but wonder if everyone in the family remains alive.

This spot once housed a historic hotel that had stood for over 100 years. When it fell 198 people lost their lives, with only two survivors. One boy lost his leg but rejoiced at his second chance at life and accepted eternal life the week after the quake.

Interesting emergency case of the day-a 26 year old lady brought in unresponsive and barely breathing. Reportedly an asthmatic who complained of abdominal pain prior to the collapse. Resuscitation started immediately with an ambu bag breathing for her, IV's started, breathing treatments given, epinephrine given, solbutamal given. Then her breathing improved and she could shake her head in response to questions.

After a few more minutes she could talk. Then the family with her shared that a similar episode had occurred the year before but no medical care had been sought. She improved without care after a three days. After being observed for a while she returned home-with her diagnoses remaining a mystery.

An additional bit of excitement during her care came when a slight breeze dumped the rainwater collecting on the tarp over our heads down. The water exploded the hot light bulb hanging on the side of the tarp causing a loud bang, while plunging us into semi darkness. Some parts of practicing medicine in the field come as a surprise.

Earthquake Reflections Trip 2-Day 4-5

Every day folks would come and go. Overlapping teams helped to keep things running and with orientation for the first timers. But it is hard to met, connect and then say good-byes so fast.

Eli helped in pharmacy. Anna here and there: fanning a sick child in the treatment room, translating, handing out snacks.

Cory helped with sorting of the large amount of donated supplies. Some supplies needed to be used by specialists or in hospitals or operating rooms. These supplies along with items that were greatly overstocked would be packed up and returned to Port-au-Prince. Hopefully to end up at a location they could be properly used.

ER cases- a small girl who had been given an overdose level of Chloroquine-thankfully she vomited small pieces of the pills. This diagnosis alone could of been deadly but she suffered as well from a kidney infection causing her body to swell and high blood pressure. Thankfully after a few days of correct medical treatment she did fine.

A man came because he "needed an IV". He didn't have any complaints that matched this request nor could the doctors find a reason to give him any medications. He left empty handed and unsatisfied.

Those of us who came on the weekend are slowing down. Hot and muggy weather does not help the energy level. Small things start to cause bigger frustrations and more emotions flow.

Over 1500 people have received medical attention in 4 days time. Many lives have been touched but I think those touched most deeply are the team members. Pushing yourself always forces you to look closely at your true motives, your limits, your attitudes and your problems.

While I'm not proud of myself I acknowledge the opportunity to grown and change. It is better to face one's flaws so to look to ways to improve than to deny that the flaws exist and do nothing. I'm a work in progress. He works through the weak! Thank the Lord, He's not finished with me yet.

Earthquake Reflections Trip 2-Day 4 More baby stories

I'm thankful to hear that my stories keep folks praying for the medical teams in Haiti.

I think that the visiting teams experienced more difficulties those of us 'long termers'. I did not deal with language, culture or limited medical supplies/medications, as those used to working in lands of plenty.

Wednesday-Triage at the front line handed out 300 small pink cards. The now 'normal' speech explaining what medications we lack sent a few home. The Spanish dentist wanted to see 15 patients out of the 30+ with teeth problems. Now if I had been her-I'd of braved the front line, looked in folk's mouths and picked the patients I thought needed care first. After all 15 randomly chosen people could mean 15 bad teeth or 150+ bad teeth. I tried to pick the 15 who had been there first but it was impossible to know. I gladly returned to my side of the line-telling myself that I'd not do that again!

Later in the day word came that the Spanish psychiatrist wanted patients. "No." I told the Haitian translator/messenger I wasn't going to pick them out. So he turns to the crowd and asks [quietly] "Who needs to see the psychiatrist?" to a crowd of more than 150 people. I quickly pulled him back and informed him that he could not just turn to a large crowd and ask or every single one would respond. I sent him to go back to the doctor to ask her specifically what what kind of patient she wanted.

Soon she came herself and hand picked the 5 patients that she wanted to see out of the hundreds suffering from anxiety, stress and depression that naturally partner the a national and personal catastrophe that they were experiencing.

Later I did send her one man who calmly explained to me that he needed to see a doctor.

'One minute I look at you - you are nice and beautiful but the next your just evil." OK-that will get you a ticket to see the doctor.

Our exciting delivery of the day ended up being the first one that Anna watched. The OB room being already occupied so the setting is under a blue tarp, on a piece of plywood on a couple of sawhorses---not attached!!

Add a 19 year old, first time mom totally out of control. Not listening to her mom, the doctors, nurses, nobody. Thankfully we had enough folks to brace all four sides of the plywood or the whole thing including mom and baby would of ended up on the ground.

I yelled at her. Her mom yelled at her. She yelled louder than both of us. Lots of hand holding her on the table. Finally-calm. Baby was fine. Mom was fine and didn't even tear. I did explain to Anna that most deliveries were not that active or loud.

[Picture of a different laboring lady]

Anna's Thoughts about the Earthquake

From my perspective the earthquake was horrible! I heard screams from scared people just like I was afraid. I held my brother's hand.

I was sitting on Mom and Dad's bed, doing my math when suddenly everything started to shake. We all ran as fast as we could to the front door and outside. It had just stopped raining.

That night I couldn't sleep in my own bed. We stayed up late and when I went to bed I stayed in my clothes in case we had to run outside again. I kept asking if everyone else felt the smaller aftershocks. Chris and Kathleen came up and talked a while. I went to Eli's bed for a while because I think it is the safest place in our house as it is a metal bunk-bed.

I had my shoes, an umbrella and a blanket near the door as it was cold and rainy. My flashlight remained in my hand. We kept the doors unlocked all night so we could get out fast if we needed to.

The next morning I was horrified when I saw the pictures of wreaked buildings and suffering people in Port-au-Prince. I helped mother pack to go help in Port-au-Prince. I was very sad and cried when she left but I knew that she was going to go help so I stopped crying after a while.

I felt very sad when I heard that some of Mme. Felican's kids were gone.

Eli's thoughts about the Earthquake

Earthquake

The earthquake that hit Haiti was caused by the movement of the geological plates. One plate goes under another and causes presser that is released by an earthquake.

In Haiti the earthquake caused a lot of damage. When it struck buildings collapsed, and the walls of other buildings rocked so that they flung heavy bricks at anyone that was in the buildings.

Many people were doing normal day things one-second, and were in heaven, or hell the next. People that weren’t killed, but trapped were found and saved, or died of starvation and thirst. Others that were safe lost family, friends, limbs, homes, and dreams.

They had food shortages. A jail fell freeing 2,000 killers. For a month or two help will come, but then people will hear less about it, and then they will forget about it, and the proud country of Haiti will be broken and alone.

It will take years for the people to recover, and will this help the people? Some people have come to Christ and know about the hope, this is the good thing. People will be more for a God that will help them, I hope that we can help more people think that going to Jesus is the best way out, not demons, and spirits. We can help them, or we can make them fell bad about it all.

Eli